SPORTS GUY QUOTE OF THE

SPORTS GUY QUOTE OF THE DAY: The Simmons Plan for the NBA: “When I’m commissioner of the league, my first act of business- right after A.) forcing every team to have cheerleaders; B.) instituting the “mega-assist” stat for passes that lead directly to dunks or layups; C.) making the coaches wear uniforms on the bench; and D.) buying David Stern’s 1984 mustache off eBay and sticking it on my upper lip — will be merging Miami, Atlanta, Toronto, New Jersey and the Clippers, then relocating them to Vegas. Think about it: Every problem in the NBA would be solved: overexpansion, talent dilution, dwindling fan bases, ghastly uniforms, and most importantly, the lack of a team in Vegas.”

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