COMING HOME: I’m leaving tonight

COMING HOME: I’m leaving tonight to head back to New York after visiting “Minny” for the last five days. Highlights have included generally avoiding the ridiculously cold weather, visiting family and friends, going to see T-Wolves and Wild, both of whom lost.
The Wolves looked especially weak on Wednesday night, as Latrell Sprewell failed to perform against his former teammates and Minnesota fell to the Knicks. Then again, there’s not much they could do, what with Wally Sczcerbiak, Michael Olowokandi, and Troy Hudson all out with injuries- even Dancin’ Mark Madsen missed the game, necessitating the ugly spectacle of Fred Hoiberg playing the entire second quarter.
I did see Jesse Ventura at the game, as he sat by himself for the entire first half before his notoriously hard-partying son Tyrel joined him at the half. Tyrel did not, however, “[leave] behind liquor bottles, damaged furnishings and vomit for the staff to clean up,” as he once did at the governor’s mansion.
While no politicians showed up, Friday’s Wild game, at least, had the spectacle of the famous Mascot All-Star Game during the first intermission, despite Minny’s 2-1 loss to San Jose. With a giant Subway sandwich in goal, the two teams once again skated to a scoreless tie, with the highlight being Charlie the Tuna’s tackle of Twins mascot TC Bear to prevent a late score.
That ruled, as did XCel Energy Center itself. And the “State of Hockey” song kicks ass too. The Wild even have a Finnish player by the name of Annti Laaksonen, whose name is remarkably similar to the drug Rush Limbaugh was accused of using. Alas, Laaksonen’s position on the ice? Left wing.
Oh, and this year’s Turkey of the Year, after “the most feeble nine-victory season in Big Ten history,” is Minnesota football coach Glen Mason.
That’s all; more when I return to the Big Apple.

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