One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

Michael Jackson meets with the Congressional Black Caucus.

The “Radical Son” Comes to Brandeis

My alma mater Brandeis last night held a talk by ’60s-radical-turned-conservative-pundit David Horowitz, at which he took the school to task for “promoting leftist ideology,” especially in the Sociology and Peace And Conflict Studies departments.
Now I’m with Horowitz on those two points- after all, I remember the SOC and PACS people wandering around like brainwashed zombies. But as is his wont, Horowitz overreached, and his argument went off the rails.
In an exchange that I wish to God I had witnessed in person, legendary American Studies professor Jerry Cohen- like Horowitz a former ’60s activist who turned rightward in his later years- took the guest speaker to task for his claim that there are no conservative professors at Brandeis, putting himself forward as one. What’s especially interesting is that the first time I ever heard of Horowitz was when Cohen assigned one of his books in his popular class “The Sixties.”
I can understand Cohen’s indignation; Horowitz was merely giving the same speech he always gives at every college, regardless of whether it’s true. And yes, all the “social justice” nonsense can get annoying, but things at ‘deis aren’t nearly as bad as the fascist-like “speech code” conditions at some universities.
Jaws has more; he actually got to have lunch the other day with the author of “Hating Whitey, and Other Progressive Causes.”

Jinx!

The SI baseball preview is the magazine issue I most look forward to reading each year, and has been for pretty much as long as I�ve known how to read. And this year�s, with a �geeks vs. scouts� feature, should be no exception. But while I don�t believe in all that cover jinx stuff, if I were a Cubs fan I wouldn�t get too confident right now, especially with Prior hurt. I mean, remember this?

He Should Hire Frank Costanza’s Lawyer

On the heels of Jake the Snake killing his own snake and Brutus �The Bioterror� Beefcake, we�ve got yet another wrestlers-behaving-badly story: The WWE and three wrestlers �Dustin �Goldust� Runnels, Scott �Razor Ramon� Hall, and �The Nature Boy,� Ric Flair- are being sued for sexual harassment by a flight attendant because of their behavior on a chartered international flight:

The suit alleges Flair wore only a jeweled cape, flashed his penis and forced a flight attendant to touch his crotch. It claims that Hall asked a flight attendant to give him oral sex and licked the face of another attendant. Runnels, the suit says, grabbed one attendant and said they were going to have sex.

Both Hall and �Mr. Perfect� Curt Hennig were fired for their drunken behavior on that May 2002 flight; a few months later Hennig was dead of a drug overdose.
As for Ric Flair�s role, I don�t know what�s sadder: that he�s still an active professional wrestler at the age of 55, or that he was able to board an international flight wearing only a jeweled cape. If we can�t stop shit like that from happening, why even bother having a Department of Homeland Security?

The New New York Press

The NYC alternative paper New York Press, for which I�ve written from time to time, has launched a re-design this week- its third, in fact, since Jeff Koyen took over the editor�s chair just over a year ago. The paper is now going by �NYP: New York Press,� and I like it- much better than the Village Voice�s awful new design scheme.
The first issue of the latest �new era� features the paper�s second annual �50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers� list. A few observations:
– They apparently decided to disqualify anyone who was on last year�s list, which means obvious suspects such as Ted Rall, Michael Moore, and �03 winner Keith Blanchard were ineligible.
– Rather than obvious choice Michael Bloomberg, NYP decided to give the #1 spot to his predecessor as mayor, Rudy Giuliani. Bad move- regardless of what we thought of him pre-9/11, the man is a national hero. And what�s he done in the past year besides lay low?
– Even more unforgivable: Anti-Defamation League head Abe Foxman is #37- I�m not a big fan of Foxman myself, but does this supposedly mainstream paper really need to share bizarre conspiracy theories about the ADL, much less endorse the notoriously anti-Semitic book �The Holocaust Industry�? The ADL was bashed as “liberal” during the ‘Passion’ controversy; now apparently Foxman is “Likud’s point man.”
– Best quote: in bashing former NYSE head Richard Grasso (#28): �When Forbes.com calls you �dangerous,� you’re either Hugo Chavez or a Wall St. monster so grotesque you threaten to bring down the house on the whole party.�
– While I find it hard to object to the inclusion of Bud Selig (#36) on any �most loathsome� list, in this case he�s out of place, as he neither lives nor works in New York, and runs MLB out of Milwaukee.
– Also included, at #15, is Gawker editor Choire Sicha and NYP makes clear, in case you were wondering, that �yes, folks, that’s pronounced �Cory�, and yes, it’s a dude.� No response yet from Sicha, though when Elizabeth Spiers edited Gawker she would post e-mails from Koyen that called her �a nasty little cunt.�
– The bashing of Joan Rivers (#30), Sarah Jessica Parker (#13), Bonnie Fuller (#27), and the Hilton sisters (#26) is welcome, unoriginal as the targets may be. And it�s interesting to point out that NYP�s �most loathsome� idea was pretty much ripped off from a similar piece in the Buffalo Beast last year- that Beast article included Parker and called her �a woman’s idea of what a sexy woman looks like�; NYP this week says �when girls think another girl is beautiful, but guys know she isn’t, call it the Sarah Jessica Parker syndrome.�
– Janeane Garofalo (#9) is called �a liberal Dennis Miller with tits.� Somehow not as biting as when the Beast called Ann Coulter �Goebbels with tits.�
And outside the �Loathsome� list there�s a convincing piece by Matt Taibbi comparing the metrosexual craze to Communism.

Their Father is the District Attorney! (General)!

Are you ready for the Hatch Sisters? In the hellraisin� tradition of the Hiltons, the Bush twins, and Jesse Ventura�s son, two daughters of Minnesota state Attorney General Mike Hatch were arrested over the weekend after getting into a 3 AM scuffle with police outside a nightclub in Chicago. The �hot blooded Hatch heiresses,� as the New York Post would undoubtedly call them had the incident happened in Manhattan, were later charged with misdemeanor assault, resisting arrest and criminal damage to property.
Anne Hatch, 21, and Elizabeth Bell Hatch, 22, are the two youngest daughters of the attorney general, who has run for governor before and is said to be a likely candidate in 2006. The Hatch sisters have become media darlings in Chicago, it appears; whether that will help or hinder their father�s political prospects remains to be seen.

The University of Minnesota womens� basketball team is in the Final Four after beating Duke last night. Not bad, especially since the mens� team had a losing record this year and the two-time defending national champion hockey team lost early in the tournament. Go Gophers!
Jeremy’s women’s sports threshold, apparently, is much lower than mine.

In an inspired attempt to capitalize on the success of that �other� Jesus movie, Rainbow Film Company next month will re-release the Monty Python New Testament parody, �The Life of Brian,� on its 25th anniversary. When we saw �Passion� my friends and I had planned to exit the theater singing �Always Look on the Bright Side of Life� but decided against it; I hope to re-assemble the entire 10-person contingent from that night to go see the Pythons.
Does this mean that this summer�s Keira Knightley-enhanced �King Arthur� movie will be followed with a �Holy Grail� re-issue?

Clashing Over Clarke

The 9/11 Commission hearings and subsequent fights over Richard Clarke have brought out the worst in both parties, as I write over at Detroit News.

Pretty Witty, By NYDN Standards

Here’s the story. Who knew these “Sopranos”-type turf wars extended to ice cream?