Conventional Wisdom

No, Im not there, but I wish I was- maybe next time. Instead, I watched the first two nights of the Democratic convention from my couch, from which I gleaned the following observations:
– A tour-de-force by Clinton Monday night, but I was less impressed with Al Gore- didn’t he seem to be speaking too fast, like he was in a hurry or something?
– MSNBC has been my network for choice thus far, mostly because of Chris Matthews and his infectious enthusiasm- you can tell he just loves the process, probably more than anyone else there. Its enough that I can forgive the Freudian slip where NBCs Andrea Mitchell referred to President Clintons hometown of Chappaqua as Chappaquiddick. Also, have you noticed that Joe Scarborough, like Tucker Carlson, suddenly moves about 45 degrees to the center whenever hes on a panel?
– I havent yet seen Wonkette on MTV- what, do they have ten minutes of political coverage per day? But I was disappointed to learn that I missed Ana Marie Cox being interviewed by Campbell Brown on NBC. Oh damn
Howard Kurtz reports (you decide) that Fox News cut away from both Gore and Carters speeches Monday night in favor of OReilly/Hannity content; my personal favorite moment was when, while CNN and MSNBC were broadcasting BeBe Winans Star-Spangled Banner live, the patriotic FNC was instead treating us to OReillys opening monologue, about how Kerry seems to have distanced himself from Whoopi Goldberg, after which Dick Morris of course filled us in on the Hillary implications.
– Then later, Mr. Factor interviewed Ralph Nader, who had been banned from the Democratic convention. Ralph wasnt banned from the FleetCenter any more than I was; after 2000, why the hell would the Democrats even think of letting him in?
– The first nights other Fox News atrocity? Hannity (and Colmes) had on Jerry Springer as a Democratic spokesman, and Sean actually debated policy with him. Unfortunately, no chairs were thrown, but if they had been you just know Colmes wouldve acted as Hannitys human shield.
– Just as FNC, early in the evening, ran a live picture of Mrs. Kerry as a canned interview by Matthews of THK was airing a few channels over, a late-night interview of Jon Stewart by Tom Brokaw reminded me to click over to The Daily Show, where I caught the tail end of Lewis Blacks rant. In it, Black wondered why they go ahead and have conventions when we already know who the candidates are, and his theory was that the balloon industry has both parties by the balls- and they know how to twist!
– I missed Howard Dean and Ted Kennedy, but Barack Obama- wow. What a speech- not bad for a mere state senator. Youre going to hear more much from this guy, and not just because Ditka decided not to oppose him.
– I was less impressed with Teresa’s speech, however- just a generic speech from beginning to end. The FNC pundits could barely contain their revulsion. But regardless, I cant understand why this nonsense story about her telling a reporter to shove off was even in a single newspaper.
– And finally, heres the lede of the offending Ann Coulter column that got her fired from her USA Today convention gig:

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazoned with the ‘F-word’ are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.

How do you say self-parody with a Boston accent?

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