Monthly Archives: June 2005

“He Winked At Me”

“Well, you know I… I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance. Just once. To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink. Make him think you know something he doesn’t. That’s what I wish for. Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases – stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?”

Today is the 100th anniversary of the lone major league appearance of Archibald “Moonlight” Graham of the 1905 New York Giants.
The centennial will be celebrated tonight at the Metrodome. Meanwhile, the Red Sox played at home this afternoon- I really, really hope they flashed Graham’s career stat line on the Fenway scoreboard at some point during the game.

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TV Critic Quote of the Week

To suggest someone watch ‘The Andy Milonakis Show’ would also require suggesting the use of mind-altering drugs or alcohol. Having watched a tape of the premiere episode, airing 9:30 p.m. Sunday on MTV, being under the influence is about the only way I can see someone sitting through a full show… is a stretch, but Milonakis might be funnier if seen after an hours-long bender.”

Richard Huff of the New York Daily News, continually returning to the same theme while reviewing the new show. I haven’t seen it yet, but will be sure to weigh in when I do.
And speaking of MTV shows- the Iraq war veteran girl’s slamming of Michael Moore on “Real World: Austin” last night was my favorite RW moment in years. Probably since the Vegas season.

It’s McCants

I’m generally happy with the T-Wolves’ choice of Rashard McCants tonight in the NBA draft. He’s got talent, but also baggage- but that baggage wasn’t enough to stop Carolina from winning the championship last year. And besides- what with years of having good records and/or forfeiting choices due to the Joe Smith incident, this was literally the Wolves’ first draft pick of consequence since Wally Szczerbiak in ’99.
I won’t write too much about the draft (because Simmons does it better- I wonder what kind of hotel suite he rented for this year’s diary). But I thought it was good that the draft for once emphasized winning college players, as opposed to unproven high schoolers and foreign players.
And is it just me, or did Jay Bilas describe literally every single player drafted as “long”? “Long” is the new “upside.” That’s why they pay Mel Kiper the big bucks for the NFL draft- he actually provides analysis- and sometimes even uses multi-syllable words.
UPDATE: Simmons diarizes:

“Here’s my McCants question everyone was writing that his stock was dropping as teams kept doing background checks on him. Well, what were they finding? Did he kill a litter of puppies? Did he appear in a snuff film? Or was it something as innocent as “His favorite movie is ‘Scarface'”?

Other than that, the highlight is the writer who thought Portland would draft Carlton Dotson.

Great Moments in Fantasy Baseball History

Monday, June 27, 6:00 PM: My team, The Masking Agents, successfully completes a trade for Pirates pitcher Oliver Perez.
Monday, June 27, 9:00 PM: The Pirates place Perez on the 15-day disabled list after he breaks his toe, from having kicked a laundry basket in the clubhouse. I’d had no idea Kevin Brown was his mentor.
Not only that, but I’d gotten this far in the season without a single pitching injury. “Hey,” said the league rival who traded him to me, “at least he doesn’t need Tommy John surgery.” No, more like Toe Nash surgery.