It’s official: Tony Snow has replaced Scott McClellan as White House press secretary. After working as a speechwriter in the first Bush White House, Snow has been a longtime employee of Fox News Channel, hosting a talk radio show and frequently sitting in for Bill O’Reilly. So really, he’s pretty much already been White House press secretary for almost six years. Call it a lateral move.
Remember a while back when I reminisced about “SectorBall,” an office sport often practiced by my co-workers and I back in New York circa 2000? Someone has set up a Wikipedia entry on the sport, stating that the game was “developed in a New York City publishing company’s office in 1999.” Sounds about right- the page must’ve been made by one of my ex-coworkers.
One of my current coworkers, meanwhile, suggests another new office sport, to be called, “Kill Everyone in the Office Who Sucks.”
So Maury Povich has been hit with a $100 million sexual harassment suit by a former producer. But at least it wasn’t a paternity suit. Because Maury himself having to take a paternity test might shatter the all-time unintentional comedy record.
I must say at the outset that I didn’t love this episode. True, a “bad” “Sopranos” episode is still better than 95% of what’s on TV, but this was probably the weakest of the season so far. I just felt like the put-upon-Artie-gets-revenge angle had already been done, two seasons ago, and the Christopher-in-Hollywood thing has been perhaps the weakest thread of all, throughout the series. Still, a few things I did enjoy:
– I loved the “Big Night” homage, with the cooking scenes at the beginning and end. When Tony mentioned the new rival restaurant, I half-expected Artie to channel Tony Shalhoub and yell out “Do you know what happens in that restaurant every night? RAPE! RAPE! …The rape of cuisine!”
– Are the two Arabs going to lead Christopher into further trouble with the FBI, should terrorism and/or money laundering issues arise? It looks that way, but then again it almost sounds too obvious that I wouldn’t think Chase would actually do it. And also, Tim Goodman of the San Francisco Chronicle brought up the interesting point that the “middle man” Chris hired to set up the hit with the two Italians could have been a government mole.
– I loved the three references to Season 1: Artie mentioning the fire Tony set at the original Vesuvio’s; Artie reproducing the rifle that he was threatened Tony with in order to kill the rabbit; and Tony mentioning the night he and his family drove to the restaurant in the rain (in the Season 1 finale).
– Speaking of the rabbit, help me, foodies: is it common practice for a professional chef to kill an animal in his garden, and then later serve it in his restaurant?
– The “whacking” of Lauren Bacall was inspired, sure. But if you’re going to cast Ben Kingsley, why not get him to play, you know, an actual gangster? He was brilliant in “Sexy Beast”- as well as in the groundbreaking role of “The Rabbi” in “Lucky Number Slevin.”
– By the way- the Bacall-getting-mugged story made the cover of Variety and presumably made some other national news as well. Once Tony put two and two together and realized that’s where the swag came from, wouldn’t it cause him to get upset with Chris? Remember: Tony’s a lover of old movies, and likely reveres Lauren Bacall.
– Next week: more of the Vito storyline, and could A.J. be embracing a life of crime?
On Sunday I caught the Phillies-Marlins game at Citizen’s Bank Park, as Ryan Howard hit two home runs- including a 496-footer that was the longest in stadium history- to give the Phils just their third home win of the season. A fun afternoon, as always at Philly’s incredible ballpark.
But the highlight of the day might have been the “birthday party” for the Phillie Phanatic, probably the only such event in the country that draws a near-capacity crowd. Not only was the Phanatic joined for a dance on top of the dugout by Mr. Met, Billy the Marlin, and numerous other major league mascots, but a between-innings bit during the game was one of the funnier things I’ve ever seen at a game:
The Phanatic comes out to third base. An actor dressed as an “umpire” starts arguing with the Phanatic. The umpire “tosses” the Phanatic (especially funny, since Phils manager Charlie Manuel had himself been ejected in the first inning of the game). The announcer then introduces the Phils’ new mascot, a giant clam with a 10-foot long shell-mouth. His name? “Roger Clam-ens.” So the clam charges at the umpire and… eats him, with the ump’s entire body going into the clam’s mouth. The Clam chews for awhile, and eventually spits out each of the ump’s shoes, then his shirt and pants, and then finally the ump himself, clad only in boxer shorts, who quickly runs away into the dugout. The soundtrack for this whole bit? “Eat It,” by “Weird Al” Yankovic.
In all, a brilliant bit of ballpark theater.
Bill Simmons’ Friday column, in which he previewed the NBA playoffs using quotes from Pearl Jam songs, was only the beginning. We we get news that OLN (the Outdoor Life Network) is changing its name to… Versus. Which, of course, was the name of Pearl Jam’s second album, which came out in 1993. No word on whether the band, still embroiled in their years-old TicketMaster litigation, will go after Comcast as well.
Mets first baseman/broadcaster/renowned “Seinfeld” guest star Keith Hernandez got in trouble over the weekend for criticizing the presence of a female trainer in the San Diego Padres’ dugout. Hernandez later apologized; I invite readers to contribute jokes based on the events to the comment section, preferably referencing Keith’s “Seinfeld” history.