“Why does Jack brag about not listening to listeners? For the same reason that Andrew Card once proudly said that the president thinks of the United States as a nation of 10-year-olds and himself as the father. Jack sells radio the same way Bush sells politics. Jack is the Decider.”
–Greg Milner, in Slate, comparing the president to the “Jack-FM” radio format. It is, actually, a rather funny piece.
A few of them, actually. The fifth-rate right-wing pundit Debbie Schlussel, who would be Ann Coulter if Coulter didn’t know how to rile up audiences enough to become famous, went on Michael Smerconish’s radio show this morning to share all of the reasons why conservatives should not go see “Superman Returns.”
I saw the movie, I liked it, and thought it was about 100% apolitical. I myself generally don’t like it when movies get all political, and I found nothing objectionable in the film. Schlussel, however, is a bit different from me.
In the interview (based on this review she wrote), Schlussel listed the following objections to the “Superman” film:
– Perry White refers to “truth, justice, and… all that stuff,” as opposed to “…and the American way.”
– Lois Lane is a single mother, who is not only not married to the father of her child, but was sleeping with more than one man at the time of his conception! So in saying that a movie is inappropriate for kids, Schlussel referred to Lois as “a slut,” more than once, on morning drivetime radio.
– In an even bigger howler, Schlussel also argued that it’s bad to depict Lois Lane as a single mother, because “I’m sure no single mother has ever won the Pulitzer Prize.” Then she criticized Lois for “going off to interview all of these people [as a journalist]” instead of caring for her child.
– Probably most ridiculously of all, Schlussel complained that Superman is fighting Lex Luthor, instead of al-Qaeda. Yes, she really did say that.
I’m sure after that, she made some reference to Bryan Singer (and possibly Superman himself) being gay, but I mercifully pulled up to Starbucks right then.
Once again, Schlussel is a wannabe Ann Coulter/Michelle Malkin, just throwing every “outrageous,” “conservative” opinion out there to see what sticks, can cause controversy, and bring her fame. And since most of you have probably never heard of her, you can see how well she’s done at it.
Smerconish, incidentally, appeared as panelist on “Hardball” yesterday, and was wearing a “Texas tuxedo”- a very nice jacket, shirt and tie, with jeans. I’m not sure, but my guess is that Michael took the train down to DC for the appearance without bringing a change of clothes, thinking he’d be sitting behind a desk, but then discovered upon arriving that he was in a chair instead.
And you thought things couldn’t get worse for Kerry Wood…
Well, the goodwill from the drafting of Randy Foye lasted exactly one day, after today’s news that Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was busted for drunken driving after getting into an accident, but cops let him off. The man Griffin hit with his car is suing, and there’s even videotape. But no, that’s not even the most embarrassing part, according to the Star Tribune:
The suit alleges that Griffin was watching a pornographic DVD in his SUV and masturbating when he crashed about 2:30 a.m. on March 30.
This is especially embarrassing, considering that the team had a player, Malik Sealy, actually get killed by a drunk driver just a few years ago.
So he was drunk AND masturbating AND watching porn AND he offered to buy the victim a new car (“but not a Bentley”) if he kept quiet. Shouldn’t he be playing for the Vikings instead?
UPDATE: WCCO has the surveillance video. Also, there’s an interview with the Minneapolis police chief, who vows that any wrongdoing in this case will be dealt with. The chief’s name? Dolan. There’s something about that last name that just turns anything it touches, NBA-related, to shit.
All in all, a fun draft, with lots of trades, and plenty of movement. A few comments:
– Either the ESPN bosses are very much aware of Sports Guy, or they were otherwise informed of the draft’s reputation for silly cliches, because there was considerably less of the usual words we hear over and over again from the men at the table(“upside,” “long,” “wingspan,” “motor,” “bigplayability,” etc.) than in any other year. Most have been an edict from on high. As opposed to last year, when literally every one of the first 15 picks was described as “long” by Jay Bilas.
– I had enough trouble telling Brandon Roy and Randy Foye apart, even before they were traded for each other. I even had a Simmons-esque moment, trying to explain the situation to my dad on the phone, and having him not understand me. I was happy to see the Wolves get Roy, and was hoping they’d keep him, but then Foye’s not so bad either. We’ll just have to see.
– It was Portland’s “president/interim general manager” who made all six of their trades last night. If they knew they were going to be so active in the market, why didn’t they, uh, hire a general manager before the draft?
– I still can’t believe Kevin Pittsnoggle went undrafted. That’s probably only because West Virginia doesn’t have an NBA team.
– Anyway, here’s the annual Bill Simmons draft diary, his tenth. Enjoy.
To the Florida Marlins organization, who in late May decided to celebrate Jewish Heritage Day by giving out free t-shirts with the name and jersey number of first baseman Mike Jacobs. Jacobs, however, isn’t Jewish.
The gaffe might have been more embarrassing for the team if anyone actually went to any of their games.
“Alan Colmes’ Death Goes Unreported On Hannity & Colmes.” Like you’d be surprised if that happened…
ESPN: Santana throws 7 shutout innings, Twins win 7th straight.
Joe Mauer is now batting .392, and .484 in the month of June. Not a .484 on-base-percentage- that’s his batting average.
Been wondering what the paper I edit, the Trend Leader, looks like? Our website is still not up, but in the meantime you can visit this blog, which posted a JPEG of a recent cover story I wrote about a local chorus group’s visit to China. I even managed to work an old Vulcan proverb into the lede.
Stephen Silver, Writer 