The Shortest Campaign Ever?

If Joseph Biden drops out of the presidential race in February of 2007, did he still “run for president in 2008”?
Biden, despite about ten other previous declarations, announced for president this morning, and let’s just say the momentum didn’t quite carry him far. Also today appeared a New York Observer profile in which Biden is quoted as saying the following about Barack Obama:

�I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,� he said. �I mean, that�s a storybook, man.�

Now, the idea of whether it’s insulting or condescending to call a black person “articulate” is one that’s debatable- and it’s been debated, most notably on David Mills’ excellent Undercover Black Man blog. I tend to think it can be- especially when using the phrase “he speaks so well”- but in Obama’s case, a strong part of his appeal is that he is one of the most inspiring orators in present politics.
But Biden takes it a step further- I mean, calling a black person “clean”? I know it had been awhile since an African-American had served in the Senate, but was Biden expecting him to show up covered in dirt? I’d been thinking Biden, considering his foreign-policy background, had a pretty good shot at the veep slot, either with Hillary, Obama, or whoever else the nominee is. But now that Joe has put his foot in his mouth once again, I’m guessing that’s not so likely.
I first heard about this on one of the conservative radio shows today, during which the host and all the callers predicted the media would give Biden a pass. But CNN spent at least an hour on the story this afternoon.

Aqua Teen Terror!

Yes, the terrorist attack in Boston this morning was a hoax- and it’s all Err’s fault.
Suspicious packages around the city, which police feared were bombs, were actually viral marketing for… the upcoming “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” movie. The threat, though, caused all subway traffic and several major roads to be shut down. According to Boston.com:

The objects that had been placed on bridges and other infrastructure across the city are patterns of lighted dots in the shape of a boxy character on the cartoon show. The lights are on a black rectangle a little larger than a laptop and flash purple and blue.
The boxy character is named Err and appears to be raising his middle finger and giving an obscene gesture. Err is described on the “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” website as “rebellious and angry.”

Ignignot, however, is totally in the clear.
I just hope that people don’t take this out on “Aqua Teen” itself, to the point where the show itself or the upcoming movie is jeopardized.

Non-Rumor of the Week

You’ve gotta love how “trade rumors” work, especially during Super Bowl week.
Here’s how the latest nonsense came about: Last Friday, Jim Carty, a columnist for the Ann Arbor News in Michigan, wrote a piece suggesting that the Lions, instead of using the #2 pick in April’s draft on Brady Quinn, should instead trade the pick to the Eagles for Donovan McNabb.
Carty sites no inside information that such a move is in the works or has even been discussed or thought of by the teams involved. All he has to go on is that he, personally, would like to see the Lions make that move. Hell, if I were a Lions fan, I would too.
It’s now on just about every sports site, as a “rumor,” that a McNabb/Quinn trade may actually happen. It’s always been my general understanding that a “trade rumor” is something that is under consideration by one or both teams. When it’s merely something a small-town sportswriter thinks might be a good idea, that’s not a “trade rumor.” That’s a “trade suggestion.”
I personally would absolutely love it if the Vikings traded their fifth round pick in this year’s draft to New England for Tom Brady. Now that I’ve mentioned it, does that mean there are now “rumors” of such a deal taking place?

Jersey Gets Smarter

The state of New Jersey has taken steps to improve its reputation- by removing a line from its constitution which states that “no idiot or insane person” has the right to vote. It’s a step in the right direction, as it’s nice to see a state, in 2007, amending its constitution for a reason that has nothing to do with same-sex marriage.
This reminds me of something funny that happened when I went to the Devils-Flyers game at the Meadowlands a few weeks ago. They did that thing on the scoreboard where they show a fan of the home team (so everyone cheers), followed by a fan of the road team (so everyone boos.) It kept going back and forth like that, until the scoreboard showed an image of downtown Philadelphia (booo), followed by a lovely postcard-like shot of the Jersey Shore (cheer).
“Whaddya know,” I said. “They picked the one pretty part of New Jersey.”

Back to Pop

News Item: Billy Joel to release first single in 14 years.
The pop song is called “East End Girl,” and is about his wife, Katie. I suppose it was getting awkward, because at recent concerts, Billy has been dedicating “She’s Got a Way” to Katie- even though it was written long before she was born.

Wrestling With Herpes

News Item: Minnesota State High School League suspends wrestling programs due to herpes outbreak.
Damn, when I was in high school the biggest issue tackled by the MSHSL was whether or not to mandate mouthguards.

Film Critic Quote of the Week

“The low-point of her acting career, [Diane Keaton] essays a character whose pathological interference into her daughter’s life is rationalized as a product of never having had an orgasm. Nothing less, nothing more. We learn this in a scene where Daphne has lost her voice (thank God) and has to spend a few days with Milly, jotting down her frustrations on a notepad. Keaton, sadly, accepts the anti-woman reductiveness of the script with embarrassing and ingratiating gusto… wearing what appears to be dresses-cum-clown-suits of her own design and always holding a cake in her hand that inevitably splatters across her face.”

Ed Gonzalez, of Slant, on “Because I Said So”- and he’s far too kind. What a horrid, insulting film, one made up almost entirely of telegraphed gags that are recycled from old sitcom conventions. And you have to love a movie whose central conceit is that the mother of Mandy Moore- a totally gorgeous 25-year-old who, by the way, is a professional chef- is afraid her daughter will be alone forever.

Headline of the Week

BoingBoing: Jewish porno can’t use kosher symbol, says upset Rabbi
The name of the film? You guessed it, “Assraelis.”
(Via Jawsblog.)

Colon

The “Aqua Teen” movie trailer is here:

Quote of the Day

Bill Simmons on Super Bowl hype:

“For the first time, we have two African-American coaches in the same game (Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith). That’s going to lead to a series of columns and features about the significance of this fact, followed by a series of columns claiming that it’s 2007 and we’ll have truly broken down the race barrier when two blacks can coach in the Super Bowl without anyone mentioning this, followed by a series of columns excoriating the previous series of columns for belittling the significance of two black Super Bowl coaches in a league that clearly has been afraid to hire black head coaches. Sadly, all this stuff will overshadow the biggest story involving an African-American NFL coach — that the Steelers just hired Omar Epps to replace Bill Cowher.”

No, Epps and Mike Tomlin are not the same person. They just look alike. And Tomlin is just a year older.