Say It Ain’t So, Larry!

News Item: Philadelphia news anchor Larry Mendte under federal criminal investigation.
And you thought the Alycia Lane scandals were over when CBS3 fired her… supposedly, Mendte is being investigated by the FBI, which is looking into whether he snooped into the e-mails of, you guessed it, Lane, who was his co-anchor at KYW until recently.
The joke is obvious- he was looking for the bikini photos!
Anyway, it’s obviously wrong to snoop in the e-mails of a colleague without permission- but who knew the FBI got involved when that happened? Are people actually ever prosecuted for this sort of thing?

At Last, It’s Over

News Item: Compromise reached on Michigan/Florida delegates.
Hillary really has no justification for remaining in the race now. And you can tell how happy her supporters are about it (according to TNR):

Howard Dean may hope that the “healing will begin today,” but two blocks away from the northwest Washington Marriott where the DNC’s Rules and Bylaws Committee is meeting right now to try to figure out Florida and Michigan, the Hillary protesters are occupying an utterly alternate (and healing-free) universe: a universe in which one of the big lawn rally’s speakers yells that the Democratic Party no longer is in the business of “promoting equality and fairness for all”; in which a Hillary supporter with two poodles shouts, “Howard Dean is a leftist freak!”; in which a man exhibits a sign that reads “At least slaves were counted as 3/5ths a Citizen” and shows Dean whipping handcuffed people; and in which Larry Sinclair, the Minnesota man who took to YouTube to allege that Barack Obama had oral sex with him in the back of a limousine in 1999, is one of the belles of the ball.

Funny that that “gay sex” rumor never got much traction. If not even Fox News or Drudge takes the guy seriously, chances are there’s nothing to it and the guy’s a nut.

WYSP Solves Its Morning Problem

Funny stuff from the Philadelphia Turkey:

Kidd Chris Replaced by Farting Orangutan
May 27, 2007 � Controversial former WYSP morning host Kidd Chris, fired last week for the March broadcast of a racist song parody, will be replaced by Nibbles the Farting Orangutan, according to excited station officials. “Since [Kidd Chris’] dismissal, there’s been a great deal of speculation about just who would host our flagship show,” general manager Jim Loftus said yesterday. “So after a great deal of consideration, we’ve decided that Nibbles, with his hooting, screeching, and loud, wet farts, would be a natural successor to Kidd Chris.”
The orangutan, famed for his brashness and chronic flatulence, was thrilled to be making the move from the Baltimore Zoo to Philadelphia’s sixth-highest-rated radio show. “Hee hee hee hee HEE!” he screeched from his new studio office, pausing to emit a long, plangent fart. “HOO HOO HOO HOO!” Interim morning DJ Frank Lario said that such comedic discourse would likely win over Chris’ devoted fan base. “All that farting and hoo-hooing and poo-throwing is right up their alley,” he enthused. “I think it’s a great hire.”

Still considerably preferable to both Angelo Cataldi and Preston and Steve.

Lakers-Celtics!

Yes, the ’80s are back, and David Stern’s prayers have been answered. Can’t wait for it to start; go Celtics.

Here in the Porn Capital

So apparently, Marple Township, Pa., where I live, is the “porn capital of Delaware County.” That’s according to a newspaper story, from early 2004, about a gang of book burners down the street from me, as reported at the time by the News of Delaware County:

Jack Whoriskey says that books such as “The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm” can only be found at the Marple Township Library and not at any other library in Delaware or Chester counties.
“Marple Township is the pornography capital of Delaware County,” says Whoriskey.
About 75 residents, ranging from teenagers to senior citizens, went to St. Pius X church to hear Whoriskey and others speak about the appropriateness of sexual instruction books, such as “Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide”.

And he doesn’t like them, so we’d better just go ahead and ban them for everybody. Luckily, the county commissioners stood up to him at the time, but next time I’m at the library I’ll have to check to see if the books are still there.
That whole meeting sounds just like that scene in early in “Field of Dreams” where Costner and his wife fight the book-burners. “You know why Terrence Mann stopped writing books? Because he masturbates!”
(Thanks to LilB for letting me know about this.)

Bad News For Bunk Moreland

News Item: Baltimore Looks to Ban Cheap Cigars

Most Ridiculous Quote of the Day

Geraldine Ferraro has written a wholly unconvincing op-ed in the Boston Globe blaming “sexism,” fully and completely, on the part of the press, the Obama campaign, and everyone else, for Clinton’s loss to Obama. Here’s my favorite part, where this alleged liberal channels Sean Hannity:

“. Since March, when I was accused of being racist for a statement I made about the influence of blacks on Obama’s historic campaign, people have been stopping me to express a common sentiment: If you’re white you can’t open your mouth without being accused of being racist. They see Obama’s playing the race card throughout the campaign and no one calling him for it as frightening.”

Those poor, poor, disadvantaged white people! When will they start getting a fair shake in this country?
If you know me, you know that I’m white, and you know that I’ve been known to open my mouth quite a lot. But I don’t think I’ve ever been called racist. It’s also especially hilarious when Ferraro attacks Obama because he’s “someone who has gone to Columbia and Harvard Law School and is married to a Princeton-Harvard Law graduate.” How dare he and his wife go to good schools! Somebody stop them before it’s too late!
(Thanks to Jabbett for the heads-up).

The Problem With Running For the Senate After 30 Years as a Comedian

Yea, turns out there’s a lot of dirt on Al Franken. There’s an uproar now about an article Franken wrote for that noted home of good articles, Playboy, eight years ago called “Porn-o-rama,” in which…

Franken called the Internet a “terrific learning tool,” writing that his 12-year-old son was able to use it for a sixth-grade report on bestiality.

I said this when I first heard Franken was running: he’s got about 30 years of writings and hundreds of hours of radio broadcasts just waiting to be picked through for “controversial” statements, and revelations of such breaking every week throughout the campaign could very well lead to a loss. Now, several Democratic Congressmen are asking questions, and his former opponent, Mike Ciresi, could even get back in the race.

Michelle Malkin, Terrorist

Apparently, she’s got a Kaffiyah problem of her own:

I bet she’s OUTRAGED by the implication. (Thanks to Jeremy for noticing this.)

538, Unmasked

The anonymous author of the awesome election poll-crunching Web site fivethirtyeight.com has unmasked himself as… Nate Silver, the well-known writer for Baseball Prospectus. As a baseball fan, a political junkie, and a fellow Silver, I think this is awesome news.