ALOTT5MA asks us to guess:
1. Winner/final score.
2. Official Game MVP.
3. Which movie ad/trailer will get the top score on the USA Today Ad Meter?
4. Springsteen’s setlist, being reported as four songs squeezed into twelve minutes.
Here goes nothing:
1. Steelers 27, Cardinals 17.
2. Troy Polamalu
3. “Star Trek”
4. “The Rising”/”Born to Run”/”Working on a Dream”/”Glory Days”
I thought I was the only one who loved Dennis Hopper’s mid-’90s Nike commercials where he played a deranged shoe salesman, but Ta-Nehisi does too:
News Item: McNabb: ‘I Want to Retire an Eagle’
I can’t wait to hear an hour of talk radio speculation about whether McNabb still wants to play for the Eagles.
Dana Stevens, on the abominable “New in Town”:
Maybe it’s just my native Zellweger animosity speaking, but I don’t know when there’s been a romantic-comedy heroine as relentlessly unpleasant as Lucy Hill. Baby Boom and its formulaic offspring may have been retrograde, arguably anti-feminist comedies, but at least they featured women who were struggling to balance career success with human relationships. Lucy Hill is Type A, as in asshole; she picks her high-heeled way through the icy streets of New Ulm as if walking in excrement and treats her secretary, the provincial but kindhearted Blanche Gunderson (Siobhan Fallon Hogan), with such horrific snobbery that it’s hard to accept the plot convention by which they eventually become friends. When Lucy’s car gets trapped in a snowbank on a remote farm road and Ted happens along to dig her outthereby saving her from potential death by hypothermiaher first response is not, “Oh my God, thank you,” but “Watch the hands, buster.” Why is this woman worth saving from the snow, much less building a movie around?
I hated this movie for many reasons, but the biggest one of all is that it treats its Minnesota characters like they’re functionally retarded. Call it “Fargo” without the violence, or the brilliance.
News Item: Wife of Patriots’ Seymour charged with second-degree lynching.
Yes, that’s right, lynching. At least it was only second-degree.
Esquire gives us PETA’s infamous veggie-fucking ad, and a few others banned from the Super Bowl.
News Item: Vikings may send QB Jackson for MMA training
.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url(‘http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png’) !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}
Those people are much stronger, authoritative advocates than Alan Colmes ever was.
Drew Magary, on the video for Megadeth’s “Hangar 18”:
Its hard to take in all that this video has to offer in just one viewing. Its got Dave Mustaine dressed like a pirate. It has hot chick lab researchers. It has over 500 examples of unconvincing alien puppetry. It has an abducted alien that is clearly just a stripper wearing a mask. The song itself has a time signature change halfway through thats more abrupt than a fart during intercourse. All it needs is Gamera to come flying in at the end for it to be an all-out masterpiece.
I really wish Dave Mustaine had set his ego aside and hired someone else to be lead vocalist for Megadeth. This man is a horrible, horrible singer. He sounds like a ferret being sexually abused. And thats annoying, because Megadeth has riffs that will pummel your fucking balls. Dave Mustaine is the guy who helped write Ride The Lightning and Call Of The Ktulu. He knows how to write songs that will DESTROY YOUR SHIT, but he sure as fuck cant sing any of them.
If Peter King and Beavis co-wrote a column, it would look something like the Jamboroo.
Everyone has a porn name! It’s almost a surprise that no one on the Blazers isn’t involved.
Stephen Silver, Writer 
