Monthly Archives: February 2009

You Stay Classy, Philadelphia

Michael Schaffer has a great piece on TNR about the Larry Mendte/Alicia Lane brouhaha of last year, also making the astute observation that in most cities besides New York and L.A., the biggest celebrities in town are the news anchors.
The gossip columns in the New York papers are about actors, musicians, society people, and strip club-frequenting Yankees players. This is what Philly ones look like:

So readers were in the loop when Channel 29’s Sue Serio had knee surgery. They knew when her Fox colleague Dorothy Krysiuk missed work for a back injury. Locals learned of a recent nightclub visit by Fox 29’s Sharon Crowley, Tasha Jamerson and–presumably recovered from the back troubles–Krysiuk (“must have been ladies’ night,” mused the Inquirer) and a Brasserie Perrier sighting of Channel 6’s Nydia Han and Erin O’Hearn (who displayed “a healthy dose of cleavage,” according to the Daily News). It doesn’t matter how prosaic the details are: Both dailies were hot on the story when Channel 10 weatherman Glenn Schwartz had rotator cuff surgery, making it temporarily impossible for him to don his trademark bowties. Locals learned when Channel 10’s Jade McCarthy got engaged. And, sure, “Action News” anchor Monica Malpass made the news during her explosive divorce. But readers also knew about it when she filed paperwork to build a new deck for her Rittenhouse Square home, when she adopted a kitten, and when she showed up at a party last year looking “cougarific.”

Well, it’s that, or flash-in-the-pan ex-Playboy chicks engaged to mediocre Eagles receivers.

An Even Sadder Story Than Verne Gagne Killing a Guy in a Nursing Home

From the Philly Daily News:

A professional wrestler from Levittown allegedly “staged a fall” at a 7-Eleven in an attempt to collect $50,000 in damages, state Attorney General Tom Corbett said yesterday.
Despite claims of an injured neck and back, investigators say, Michael Taris, 34, continued to clothesline his opponents and leap from the turnbuckle – while moonlighting as a male escort and massage therapist.

Yikes. I’d never heard of this guy; the story says he “formerly wrestled for the World Wide Wrestling Alliance, now wrestles for the National Wrestling Superstars,” which presumably meant moving from one high school gymnasium circuit to another.

An Even Worse Pilot Than “Jerry”

Fasten your seatbelts- Seinfeld’s coming back to TV!:

NEW YORK Jerry Seinfeld is returning to NBC as producer of a comic reality series where celebrities and a referee try to help squabbling couples make peace. That’s the good news for Seinfeld’s fans.
The bad news? Seinfeld said he has no plans to step in front of the cameras for “The Marriage Ref” or, for that matter, to ever star in a television series again. “It’s a young man’s game,” said Seinfeld, 54. “Nothing could surpass the experience I had.”

With all due respect, that sounds to me like the dumbest idea for a TV show ever. Not quite as disastrous as the Gates/Seinfeld commercial series, but still pretty bad.

The Speech

Very nicely done, Barack. Very. I don’t know if it’ll work. But if it does, the Republicans are fucked for a decade.
My favorite part- he promised a cure for cancer, “in our time”! There was an entire “West Wing” episode where they agonized over whether or not to do that in a presidential speech.
It’s too bad he’s either Hitler, or the Anti-Christ:
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I never saw the “Usual Suspects” homage coming.