Here it is. And here’s what’s wrong:
1. It’s horribly written, and you get the sense that the author was figuratively (and probably literally) jerking off as he wrote it.
2. It’s about three years too late in Megan Fox’s career arc for a magazine cover profile, and there’s not much about her that’s left to explore. She’s hot, and she occasionally says crazy things. We knew that in 2008.
3. “Lena Dunham and Adele and Lady Gaga and Amy Adams are all perfectly plain.” Oh, shut up.
4. Amy Adams is sexier than Megan Fox, and I don’t think it’s particularly close. And I’d much rather read a cover story about her. Just not by this idiot.